Man, I’m all over the posts today. I think I’m really just psyched to have my fast and powerful computer back at my disposal.

In any case, y’all should tune in to The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno tonight because Dara will be the second guest on the show. It isn’t every day that swimmers get a spot on the major talk shows, so I thought I’d share the news!

The Tonight Show airs weeknights at 11:35 PM (ET) on NBC. More info can be found on the show website.

I’m sure I’m not alone, but when I think of Swimsuit Issues, I think of the slick production of hotness that is Sports Illustrated’s annual offering. It’s the Holy Grail of Swimsuit Issues.

Herego, if I see any other swimsuit issues, I expect them to bring it the same way SI does. But sometimes, what we expect, isn’t always what we get.

Case in point: Swimming World Magazine’s 2008 Swimsuit Issue. It’s the first digital issue so I feel there are going to be more. But WHY?! asdfghj

I understand where the need to create one comes from, and I understand that Swimming World is not Sports Illustrated. I also read the letter from Marketing Director Toni Napper that said that high school students were heavily involved in the creation of this special issue. That’s going to look awesome on their future resume!

But I really, really, really, really wish someone would have warned me before I downloaded it. Not a fan. And now I can’t get the time it took to look through it back!

Jason, I’d just looooove to hear your thoughts on this. Please tell me it wasn’t your idea or I may have to rethink our friendship.

I’ve been home for almost 12 hours now, but haven’t done anything productive. Don’t judge me! I didn’t sleep at all last night. I mean, what’s the point when you have a 5AM flight, right?

Anyway, now that Jason has ruined our fun, I have to move on to other memorable moments from the final day of the 2008 US Olympic Team Trials. I would also like to state that being able to type this on my own computer, as opposed to my Sidekick phone, is a relief. Maybe it won’t take me 52095720 years to write this!

Sleeping in yesterday was glorious. Since I operate on “vampire time”, it was like being at home! We were out pretty late (at Farrell’s, of couse) but when we came back to our hotel, we stayed up a loooooong time! I’ll come back to some Farrell’s talk later because there are some things that we must vent about.

So the pool action. It was brief, no? But very exciting! Dara Torres’ agent, Evan, emailed me before the session and predicted a win and the American Record. He nailed that one! And how about Miss Jessica Hardy?! She amazes me! How many people are able to be world class breaststrokers and sprint freestylers? Recently, I can only think of one; Jessica! We got to meet her father earlier in the week, which was great because after you trade emails with people enough, you want to actually meet them face-to-face.

And I know I’ve already talked about this, but PVK tore shit up in that 1500 Free! I was like “Dayum! Where did that come from?!” I am so proud of him. Like seriously! He went from the label of “relay swimmer” back in 2004, to a bonafide stud in multiple individual events! He could come home from Beijing with 4 medals! And while I was ecstatic for Pete, I couldn’t help but be sad for Erik. I don’t know what happened with him. His prelim time would have put him on the team for this event! We watched that race with his parents and the Vanderkaay and we all saw how Bob was trying to get him to slow down, but he didn’t. Did he maybe expend too much energy? I don’t know. All I know is that I kept waiting for him to make his move, like he usually does, but he never did. Thank goodness he grabbed that last spot for the 800 Free Relay!
But wait, there’s more! »

Soooooo, remember how annoyed I was, in the previous post, with how John Naber was conducting interviews after the awards ceremonies?

I still can’t get over the question he asked Natalie. I mean, seriously. WTF?

Imagine our surprise tonight when the head of media for USA Swimming, Jamie Fabos Olsen, was the one conducting those interviews.

She handled them with much class that was lacking before. Thank you, Jamie!

And how funny was PVK not really hearing her question about him and his brothers all competing together here? He stumbled all over that one! It’s ok, Pete. We still love you!!

I sent him a “good luck” text earlier today, so I’d like to think that’s what pushed him to win tonight. I do have that kind of power, ya know.

Ok, enough of this. I got some partying to do! Last night in Omaha, baby!

Ok, so I totally can’t believe that this thing is over tomorrow! I remember last Sunday when I was like “this is going to be a long week”. Not the case at all! When spending time with friends and covering fast swimming, time always flies by!

So what went on today?

YAY for Margaret Hoelzer breaking the 200 Back World record. She’s had quite the 15 month period, hasn’t she? She went from being the standout US 200 female backstroker, to the American record holder (at Worlds last year), to World Record holder tonight. Awesome! Great for her! She’s really come along!

I absolutely could not predict the 50 Free. Like many others, I changed my predictions every few hours. So, when it came time for that final, I just decided that I’d let it play out and not try to predict anything. It was easier since Paul wasn’t with us to demand our guesses on who made the team. And I’m not going to lie, we missed his company during finals. We’ve gotten used to watching most of them with him. Today, he was on deck and NBC was filming him during Katie’s 800 Free final.

Speaking of The Hoff, she totally tried to get us kicked out of the Qwest Center this afternoon. And we’re going to remember that! She’s also a horrible girlfriend. But don’t worry about her. I gave her some expert relationship advice and she should be ok in the future. She may get her “free pass” at the Swim Aids revoked if she continues this nonsense! We’re watching you, Hoff! We’re also still laughing at how the security guy didn’t even know who she was. I’m thinking “um, that’s Katie Hoff dude. Remember her name. You’re going to hear it A LOT” But he’ll realize the error of his ways soon enough.

We watched the final 2 men’s 1500 Free prelim heats with Mama Vanderkaay. We thought it was time to hang out with her again, so after we came back to the pool, after our nap, she went at sat with her, Papa VK and the Vendts. I know I sound like a broken record, but talking with her is a pleasure for us. we jump at the opp to socialize with her!

And I’m sorry. After the 50 Free, I was so not about to sit for 2+ hours watching 1500 Free heats of people I don’t cover on Swim Stars. I came back just in time for PVK’s race like a good girl. And how great was Erik Vendt’s time? Wow! Coach Bob kept trying to tell him to slow down and after the race Erik said he didn’t really want to go that fast, he just felt good. Can’t hate on that, can you?

And about Lia Neal breaking the 13-14 NAG record in the 50 Free prelims? Pretty cool. It’s nice to see minorities excelling in the pool. Maybe Cullen won’t have to hold that banner along for much longer!

Dara Torres amazes me. And so does Jessica Hardy. I mean, how often do you see a breaststroker that’s extremely successful in the sprint freestyles? Not very often, but Jess is doin tha damn thing. What doesn’t make me happy is all the talk about Dara with regards to doping. People are so cynical. I don’t even want to talk about it. So I won’t.

What about after finals?

Well, we went to “Swimmer Central” again. And, by Swimmer Central, I mean Farrell’s. Everyone and their mama was there again. Well, not exactly. We feel like there were more people there last night and we definitely didn’t hear any “GTFO” orders. We also didn’t see the “drunk girl” that entertained us with her lack of balance and common sense. We’re hoping to go out on a good note tomorrow. I invited some of my young’un friends to join me at Farrell’s and they came through. I’m not going to call them out because I don’t want them to be accused of anything by judgemental and overbearing people. But, they know who they are, and I thank them for coming out tonight!

Sir Phelps even made a late appearance before last call. He showed up alone. It was weird for him.

We’re beyond ecstatic that we get to sleep in tomorrow. Sleeping in is one of my favorite activities. If sleeping were an Olympic event, I would be the World Record Holder. Don’t even think you can challenge me, because you can’t. I would pwn you.

Later all!

Ok, I forgot to mention something else that grinds my gears from last night.

Did y’all notice the way the meet announcer says Ben Wildman-Tobriner’s name? It goes a little something like this (hit it):

BEN “WILD MAN” TOBRINER!!

I was not aware that Ben’s swim nickname was “Wild Man”, did y’all? I guess it’s true that one does learn a new thing every day!

BTW, we’d like to take an additional second to shout out the Chlorination boys. We love those guys to death!!

ETA: We just got back from BWT’s presser and a reporter asked if he had any nicknames. He said he had “many”, but that most popular was obviously “Wild Man”. What a coincidence, right Paul?

This is another Tales From The Deck entry written on my sidekick. There may be lots of errors and things of that nature due to the fact that I am typing on a phone, plus I went out tonight and “had a good time” with friends.

I’d like to officially start this entry with a quote:

GET THE FUCK OUT!!

For those of you who went to Farrell’s, you know what that quote is in reference to. And for those of that didn’t, WTF is wrong with you! Farrell’s is where the party is yo! We better see you tomorrow. And by tomorrow, I mean tonight since it’s technically already Saturday. There are no prelims Sunday, so I expect Farrell’s to be jumpin’ again!

DRINK IT UP, DRINK IT UP, DRINK IT UP!

Onto the action at the Qwest Center. Tonight was super exciting as we passed the Aussie Trials with 8 World Records being set. Represent, baby!

We’re still not fully recovered from the shock of Brendan getting shut out of his pet event and I don’t think we ever will be. But watching those 2 new WRs certainly helped!

Last year’s “upset” in the 200 Back when the Lochtenator beat Peirsol and set the World Record was great. Too bad we had no idea that that’d be the 1st — and last — time we’d see something like that for a while. We seriously need to see Lochte take down Phelps. We know it’d cost us like a gazillion more cases of Heineken, but I’ll be damned if it wouldn’t be worth it!

I don’t care what anyone says, I am so freakin’ glad Amanda and Dara made the Olympic Team! Amanda was the last Swim Star that I needed to meet and that happened today at the hotel, before finals. She had emailed me before and we’d traded some facebook messages as well. But not only had I not met her, but I also hadn’t seen her race either. So, finally glad to have met her. She’s such a sweetheart, and always has been.

Paul continues to keep us company during finals. We love his company because quality time with Paul pretty much makes our life. He always asks us who we think is going to win each final. I gotta tell ya that I’m doing surprisingly well considering the volatility of a meet like this!

John Naber gets on my last damn nerves. The questions he’s been asking after the awards ceremonies have really been grinding my gears. I seriously want to order him a tall glass of STFU because he’s so inappropriate. I love how the crowd called him on his poorly chosen question to Natalie about how she felt about “losing to a 41 yr old”. Tacky, Naber. Just tacky.

And how hot did Jenny Thompson look? Ah-Mazing!

And how cute was Dara’s little Tessa? I remember taking photos of them on the awards stand at Nationals last summer. Cute then and cute now.

Love that Cullen broke the 50 Free American Record. Hope it gets lowered again tomorrow. GHJ’s old one lasted entirely too long for my liking!

Can’t wait to see The Hoff vs. The Ziegster. Holy fast race, Batman!

There were rapid-fire press conferences today. Dara revealed that she was only thinking she’d get 3rd thru 6th in the 100 free for a shot on the relay. Her 1st place finish totally surprised her. She’s not sure if she’ll be doing that individual event in Beijing. The 50 Free is more her event.

Amanda was ready to go on a long trip up the Pacific coast had she not made the team. She, her boyfriend, and their dogs were going to jump in an RV and get away. Obviously that’s going to be pushed back now.

We, and Michael Phelps, are tired of reporters continuing to ask about the LZR. Several variations of the same question have been asked a million times and he gives the sam answer. The suit only does so much people!

We’re also quite pissed that the Lochtenator hasn’t done a presser yet. WTF! Are they keeping him away because of his excessive usage of the words “uh” and “um”. And how funny was it that he had to come out 3 times tonight for awards ceremonies?

We finally got to catch up with PVK. He was doing an interview before finals and we waited until he was done to holla at him. I love that guy. He’s always been super sweet over the years. Love him, and love his family, with the exception of his hater of a older brother

This is a really long post. I wonder if Jason Marsteller would approve…

We probably will go back to Farrell’s tomorrow and we aim to sneak out some of our young’un swim chicks with us. We’re also going to strongly suggest tha Lochte go too. We owe him a crapload of beer. Time to get started redeeming it!

Ok, time for bed! I’ll probably sleep through most of those 1500 heats though. I’m not going to lie!

Keep it real!