Some possible reasons for this hot mess of an ad:

Having said all that, The Hoff rocks that tiny skirt really well, doesn’t she? Y’all didn’t think we were going to hate on Katie, did you? Our computers would self-destruct were we even to attempt it.

Now you all know the Swim Aids are “Team Beard”, right? Just remember that as you continue to read this post.

Amanda walked the red carpet at the 2007 ESPY Awards last night. It’s obvious she’s training full-time again, because the bod was on point! Having said that, I’m not sure what she was wearing. A more flattering dress could have been a home run, but she wore this “interesting” orange number (See pic to the left).

We’re not sure what was going on, and why she chose this particular dress; the only acceptable excuse would be that she lost a bet. In any case, we hope she went home and immediately burned the dress.

In other news, Phelps actually wore shoes, not flip-flops, to the show. Yes, we are just as shocked as you.

ETA: Suz, the super sleuth, has done a bit of digging and learned that Amanda’s “dress” was designed by Jenny Packham. And it’s just as unfortunate looking on the runway model as on Amanda. There’s a black/white version that looks better, but that’s not much of a consolation.

Ok, we weren’t going to say anything…all right, that’s a lie. We so were. So allow us to share a story from Santa Clara.

Erik Vendt was all about the comedy; even though we are fully aware it was unintentional. After Erik lined up behind the wrong blocks for the 200 Free Final on the first day of the meet, we hoped we were in for a weekend of comedic genius. That would have been welcome since T-Dub!! skipped this meet. Now, we just think TYR is slacking a little.

Flashing back to the Missouri Grand Prix, we caught The Vendt rocking a suit that was less than flattering. (It looks worse in person and conjures up a slew of bad UPS jokes)

So imagine our surprise when we spotted Erik at the blocks, in Santa Clara, wearing a suit with a hole in it! It definitely got a double-take from the crew. We wondered if he was having trouble getting his suits on, a la Kaitlin. Difference here, is that Kaitlin eventually got her suit on, and without any holes.

So our message here goes to TYR. Erik is one of your top signed athletes. You have got to make sure he is outfitted in non-fug and hole-free suits! Or not. Because it gives us more to write about here. So, nevermind.

As you were…

Dear Fellas,

If you would like to successfully hit on or pick up a girl, there are some things we feel we need to share with you.

First of all, please don’t come with any “lines” that include what type of car you drive. And if you are an Olympic Gold Medalist, don’t start off the convo by mentioning your medal haul. It makes you look like an ass.

Also, it is recommended that you not approach every single female at a party with the same tired lines. Switch it up a little and stop trying to be so desperate.

Asking a female if she wants to go back to your place too soon will also bring unfortunate results. Major turnoff. Slow it down a little.

If it appears your party strategy is not working, and other party-goers start laughing at your failed attempts, it is time to leave; while you still have a shred of dignity left.

The best way to get a girl is to drop the “lines” and be real. Talk to her. Be nice. Make her laugh.

Respectfully Yours,
The Swim Aids

P.S. We thought we’d share this open letter because if we hear one more story about a certain someone making an ass out of himself around his campus, we may all die of laughter. We thought that these type of stories would stop coming in after a couple of years…

They do not.

So it was pointed out on MrPhelps.com that Mike just might have a teeny tiny identity crisis. Or maybe they were just separated at birth. Do you agree? y/n

Who commited the biggest crime with flaunting their tiny little speedos in the wrong pattern?