I’m sure I’m not alone, but when I think of Swimsuit Issues, I think of the slick production of hotness that is Sports Illustrated’s annual offering. It’s the Holy Grail of Swimsuit Issues.

Herego, if I see any other swimsuit issues, I expect them to bring it the same way SI does. But sometimes, what we expect, isn’t always what we get.

Case in point: Swimming World Magazine’s 2008 Swimsuit Issue. It’s the first digital issue so I feel there are going to be more. But WHY?! asdfghj

I understand where the need to create one comes from, and I understand that Swimming World is not Sports Illustrated. I also read the letter from Marketing Director Toni Napper that said that high school students were heavily involved in the creation of this special issue. That’s going to look awesome on their future resume!

But I really, really, really, really wish someone would have warned me before I downloaded it. Not a fan. And now I can’t get the time it took to look through it back!

Jason, I’d just looooove to hear your thoughts on this. Please tell me it wasn’t your idea or I may have to rethink our friendship.

So yea, we’re not fans of the Wasserman Media Group. And we don’t care if you tell them. They can suck it.

As many people are aware, if you posted any video from Nationals on popular videosharing site YouTube, then you probably are well aware that the “fine folks” at WMG have nothing better to do with their time then police YouTube and request that all content pertaining to the recent Nationals in Indy be removed for copyright violations.

I figured that the reason they wanted video taken down was so they could later package the event and then sell it. And that is, in fact, what they are doing. It’s all about the Benjamins, baby. I hope Diddy doesn’t come after me and threaten to sue me after quoting his song right there. Lawsuits seem to be the corporate activity du jour.

Anyway, USA Swimming and WMG aren’t even including all races in the 2-DVD set. All you get for your $15 fee is A Finals and “Fast Heats”. What exactly is “fast heats”? Is it just the last one? Is it all the circle seeded ones? Care to elaborate?

What about Johnny who got his cut and was competing at Senior Nationals for the first time? Say his teammate recorded his race and decided to put it online for Johnny, his family, friends, and teammates. I’m willing to bet that big, bad Wasserman Media Group would send another take-down notice to YouTube, even though they don’t offer any of Johnny’s races in the 2-DVD set.

I’m sure we’d see the same results for “Beth”, who is attending her 4th Senior National meet, but doesn’t make the Championship Final. She raced in the ‘B’ Final and won! But let Beth’s proud parents put a video of the race on YouTube, and see what happens!

This is all the more infuriating considering that USA Swimming’s Media department OK’ed the posting of prelim video from Nationals. Apparently WMG didn’t get that memo.

If you go to YouTube, and search for races from other DVD sets that USA Swimming offers for purchase, you see that they are all alive and well. This nazi activity seems to have come into play in the aftermath of the new partnership with Wasserman Media Group.

Viral video is where it’s at. It’s the future. How many times have we seen YouTube video used in news reports and television programs? People are plucked from abscurity and vaulted into celebrity with recording contracts? Activities become mainstream every day. All due to viral video sites. YouTube is one of the most visited websites IN THE WORLD. What better way to get a grassroots buzz going for the sport than to have a large collection of fan video on a website that commands such high traffic statistics? That’s some major exposure! USA Swimming, and more specifically WMG, need to get on board before they cripple the sport further.

So what if I feel like bitching about this every week! Deal with it!

Speedo has a large stable of elite athletes; all amazing in their own right. However, within that team of swimmers, they only have so many WORLD RECORD HOLDERS. The way they continue to omit 2 of them infuriates me. And many probably don’t think it’s a big deal, but around here, we do. Speedo continuing to overlook Pete and Klete in Speedo promotional photoshoots and catalog inclusions is inexcusable. In a sense, it seems to devalue their work and accomplishments in the pool. I liken it to a slap in the face.

So at first, I just thought it was an oversight. Then I moved on to thinking about how awkward and uncomfortable Pete looks in staged/posed pictures, and assumed he declined their invitation to the photoshoot. But after my brief convo with PVK yesterday, I really am at a loss for words!

When I asked him why he isn’t in the catalog he said:

I don’t know…

I also offered to write a strongly-worded letter on his behalf, but the ever-modest PVK didn’t think that was necessary. I, however, do!

Seriously, I don’t know what’s going on over at the Speedo USA Headquarters, but they need to get it together! This is unacceptable. Pete just became the 4th fastest 200m Free performer in history at Nationals! I think he is more than deserving of a spot in that catalog. This isn’t about vanity, or the fact that PVK is my dawg. It’s about respect.

They aired the USA Rock Paper Scissors Championship last weekend

I wish I was kidding, but sadly, I am not. ESPN can’t give the most popular Olympic sport the time of day, but the higher-ups in the executive offices (specifically, ESPN programming and acquisitions director Ilan Ben-Hanan) thought the USA Rock Paper Scissors Championships would be a big ratings draw? Say what?

After they ventured into the world of the National Spelling Bee, the annual Nathan’s hot dog battle, and World Series of Poker, I thought it couldn’t get any worse. Boy, was I wrong!

The second annual national championship tournament, sponsored by Bud Light, went down in Vegas on May 12 and 13 at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino. Finalists will secure a spot at the tourney by winning a local qualifying contest in 325 regional markets; the ultimate winner will take home $50,000. They have a league too.

It is a sad, sad day in the sports world, folks.

I know I’ve been on a Nike bashing trip lately, but I just have to point out the error of their ways, promotion-wise. After all, what I do with Swim Stars (and much better than Nike, I might add) is promotion, so I feel that my opinion is relevant.

I like that they are trying, but they need assistance STAT! I like that there is an ad in Swimming World Magazine. I like that they finally activated the nike.com/swim URL. What I don’t like is that it looks like they had an intern open up Photoshop and create it on their lunch break. Ghetto. And, for the love of the guy upstairs, where are Brendan’s goggle straps in the photo?

Does anyone else hear that? You know, the sound of a train wreck? I hear it like it is coming right through my wall!

I just stumbled across some Nike Swim ads, and can I say the company needs some serious help. Everything is wrong! Not only do they not use either of their female sponsored athletes (Kaitlin & Maritza), the concept is also completely off. Swimming is not track and field, so it should not be presented to the masses as track and field “in water”. It is a beautiful sport and should be promoted as such. Nike was already in the doghouse with us around here. So now, they too, fail at life.

Check out the hot mess being passed off as ads: