Yea, I hooked y’all up proper. Feel free to bow down to my greatness.

Via USA Swimming

Four-time Olympian and American-record holder Dara Torres will be featured on ABC’s World News Tonight as the “Person of the Week” this evening at 6:30 p.m. EST.

The segment will contain footage of Torres training in Florida, as well as clips of her gold-medal performances in the 50m and 100m freestyle at the 2007 ConocoPhillips USA Swimming Nationals earlier this month in Indianapolis.

At the age of 40, Torres recently reaffirmed her position as one of the top freestylers in the world when she eclipsed her own American record in the 50m freestyle after a seven-year hiatus from the sport. Torres’ time in the 50 free currently ranks fourth in the world, while her time in the 100 free ranks eighth.

If Torres qualifies for her fifth Olympic team in 2008, she will be the oldest swimmer ever to make an Olympic Team.

And for those who don’t see this in time, or won’t be home, I will capture the video and post it right here afterwards, so don’t fret!

Dara provided us with the most touching awards podium experience of the 2007 National Champs in Indy when she brought her daughter, Tessa, up on the podium with her. All of us who were on deck as photographers could hardly snap shots fast enough! Veteran photog Peter Bick even remarked that he had never seen anything like that before. It was great!

Below is one of our shots, but trust me when I say there is a LOT more where that came from! We have a lot of pictures that we don’t use/post on SwimStars.org, so we’re going to open an additional gallery to showcase those. Not sure where that will be though. Could be here! We’ll let you know!

Or else we’ll send Erika to your house to punch you in the face!

We just want to let y’all know, since Club Wolverine Owns Us, that the UM schedule for 07-08 is out and y’all need to go support those boys. Why? Because we said so! Oh, and also because we can’t…

We’d also like to let you know that nothing, short of an act of God, will get us to any UM meets this time around. Yea, we know we’re slacking, but we have a plan, so just bear with us. We will be there in spirit! The alum exhibition and Big Tens interests us more than anything else, but we have to use a little self control this year. Next summer is going to make all of us broke! Besides, I need to go see some of my peoples on tour this fall. I work for/with some music artists too. Y’all don’t know nuthin’ bout that!

And I know I have less of an excuse than the other Swim Aids, being that I’m less than 3 hours from Ann Arbor, but I’d just like to remind everyone that I went to all of the UM meets (home & away) but one during the 2005-06 season. So back up off me! Now, my mind can be changed in rare occurances — and by request — but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were y’all. However, it should be noted that I will accept gifts in the form of flowers (lillies) and McDonald’s gift certificates (mmm, fries).

Anyway, Go Blue!

It’s a Swim Aid thing. You wouldn’t understand.

I remember these corridors from when we all had to take cover during the 2005 Counsilman Classic tornados. So, rather than try to navigate the slippery deck in order to get from the awards staging area to the 50m turn, we made great use of the back hallways. That is when we noticed that it was quite the “Rape Hallway” in its own right.

This is when I should put the joke about how fitting calling it the “Rape Hallway” is, considering the extremely attractive man who was ALWAYS out there when we walked through. But I have more self control than that…

Yea, not so much.

Move over, Canham!

Tonight, I give thanks to the lord for giving us Miss Carrie Moore. It is through her that we get so many classic moments; all due to her lack of thinking before she speaks.

If you’ve been keeping up with the hilarity in the comments of our latest “What Not To Wear” post, then you know why we give thanks for her.

We discuss a lot of swimmers on this site. And 90% of the ones we talk about do actually visit and see what we’re saying. They don’t think we know, but we do. But it wasn’t until today that one of them actually joined in the conversation and registered. I also think that post broke the Swim Aids record for most comments ever!

So, the first induction in the Swim Aids Hall of Fame is none other than Rhi Jeffrey. Thanks for being the highlight of our day today!

Oh, and we’ll mail your airfare to South Dakota directly to you. A camera crew will meet you at the airport.

We Swim Aids go to a lot of meets. And I do mean a LOT of meets.

As our travels continue, we’ve come to witness a lot of no-no’s when it comes to what people wear at meets; not just the spectators, but also the athletes.

This edition of “What Not To Wear”, obviously borrowed from my favorite TLC show, is dedicated to spectators.

Tip: If you want to avoid looking like a fangirl and getting laughed at, don’t wear shirts that say things like…oh saaaay… “The Future Mrs. Keller”. We don’t care that you really are engaged to Kletus. The massive rock you are sporting should suffice. You should not, under any circumstances, sport apparel like that…EVER. Try making a shirt that says “Team Keller” or something comparable. That would be a much better decision.

So while on one of my many trips this summer, I found myself reading an OK! magazine. I stumbled upon an article with Jessica Biel. One question she was asked, was how she felt about marriage. She responded with this:

I don’t understand why everyone is in a rush to get married. I mean, you’re single for like 20 or 30 years, and you’re married for like 70.

To which I say; You go Jessica! I too, am a little bit of a commitment-phobe. The only thing I KNOW I want when I get older (and the Swim Aids can vouch for this) is a gay son. As for waking up to the same person, everyday, for the rest of my life? Uhm, wow. Not so much.